I open my eyes, to look around me.
The walls are clean and milky white.
I look at my arms and see they are tightly bound.
And then I see the red blanket and it all comes back to me.

It was a windy, cold night as I stepped into the plush home.
The room was like a giant chess board with large checkered tiles.
And there in the middle lay the king. Check mate!

The white carpet, a black suited body, and a fresh red pool.
Everything in the room was in black or white.
The blood gave a little respite.

And then she walked down the black and white steps.
Golden hair curled and bouncing with her every step.
In a dress a color of scarlet, the color of the drying blood on the carpet.

She walked up to me, a revolver in her hand.
Looking into my eyes before dropping her dress to the knee.
She showed me fresh cigar burns on her arms and chest.
With tears she said, “It was only self-defense”.

I sent out everyone to save her embarrassment.
I touched the nape of her neck, inhaled her perfume as I zipped up her dress.
My gaze wander over her again, to settle on her full lips, and then looked into her emerald eyes.
I took her soft hands in mine, caressed them and whispered, “It’s all gonna be fine”.

She was released soon. She was no gold digger.
Her bruised face, and the victims fingerprints on the gun.
The jury was satisfied, her life was in danger.
The cigarette burns too helped her.

I went to see her dreading the black and white.
But I entered into a world of color.
Red, Green, Blue, every color but black and white.
Except she was in white, and sitting in the middle of the room.

Legs crossed, lips lush red, puffing on a cigar and drawing circles in the air.
She uncrossed her leg, stood up, and ambled towards me.
Kissed me passionately, before whispering in my ear, “Thank you for making my job so easy”.

I squeezed her arms and pushed her away enraged.
She looked at me and burst out laughing.
“You fool. You sad pathetic fool “, she said.
I rushed up to her, and took her in my arms, and forced kisses upon her.
“I love you. I love you”, I said.

She pushed me away and laughed even louder.
“Fools, fools you men are all the same”, she said.
I looked at her again, first crying and then laughing hysterically.

I woke up here where I am – the psychiatric ward.
This story I have told every day and to everyone I have met.
“I love you.”, are the only words I have said for the years I have been here.
The girl with eyes like emerald, and gold in her hair will come one day,
and I will make her mine.

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